I am an average, everyday person.
I am married, with a baby and a dog. I like to run, cook and read. I hate my hair colour, love chocolate, wish I could lose 5 more lbs, claim, when asked by my husband, that I weigh about 15-20 lbs less than I actually do, and daydream about travelling to Spain.
Note: Stephen, if you read this, I actually DO weigh 120 lbs. I swear. Awkward.
Anyway, I was thinking today about average, everyday people and I realized something. The majority of people in magazines these days, all the tabloids and whatnot, were just like me... until they starred on a reality show. Think about Snooki. Or Heidi Montag. Or even the Kardashian Klan. They weren't famous until they got their own shows and overnight they became over-inflated quasi-celebrities.
So what would you say if someone offered you a part on a reality show?
And more importantly, what would your show be called if you were the star? Here are some working titles I have off the top of my head. It's not like I've thought about this ever. Shifty eyes.
1. Whitney's World. And yes, I might have a Whitney Houston song as my theme song. "I'm Every Woman" perhaps. Or "Queen of the Night".
2. Dove and Wee-Wee. This is what my niece used to call me and my husband when she was first learning how to talk. It's catchy, right? Or not.
3. Jacob's Mom (Has Got It Going On). And the theme song for this one would defintely be a remake of "Stacey's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne. And it would be both creepy and awesome.
4. Whitney's Wild Adventures. And it would be a cool show, like Sarah Palin's one only cooler (obviously) where I would be backpacking and watching my husband wrestle a grizzly while making a sling shot out of recycled items and fallen brush.
5. Rants on the 'Rents. This just sounds cool. And totally unwatchable, I know. But I could guest star angry teenagers who want to gripe about their parents. And then, Dr. Phil style, I would break out into a monologue about how important it is to all just get along, and then the parents, who were backstage, would come out and everyone would cry. And someone would jump up and shout "My boyfriend isn't my baby's daddy" and alot of additional drama would ensue.
6. Reality Jam with Whitney. Probably a cooking show. Where I make jam. Note to self: learn how to make jam.
7. Weading with Whitney. This would be a book show. Like 'Reading' only the way a five-year-old would say it. I'd talk about my book all the time,(which, if you haven't read yet, you totally need to. It's brilliant, if I say so myself. Do it. And then tell a friend.), create a book club, Oprah style, and interview famous authors like JK Rowling and Sophie Kinsella. But not Stephenie Meyers... Twilight makes my eye twitch just a little.
8. Weeding with Whitney. Um... a gardening show? Only I don't like getting dirt under my fingers. But I guess I could wear gloves.
That's all I got right now.
I will sit here, patiently waiting for the call from the producers, telling me my show has been picked up. :)
And until I get that call, I want to know. What would you call your show?